By Mekhala Joshi
June 01, 2022
Take a moment before you respond. Observe your emotions and thoughts. It will help you understand what you are bringing to the table and see the situation from your child’s standpoint.
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Avoid towering over the child and get down to their level to make the child more comfortable and receptive to what you want to say.
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Invite the child to share their thoughts and feelings. Ask them probing questions to understand the reasons behind ‘No!’
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You may not want to hear ‘No!’ but that does not invalidate your child’s opinion. Emphasise with your child first, connect with them so that they feel heard and more willing to listen to your perspective.
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It may help to rephrase your request in a more positive form. You could say – "I want you to (action – eat healthy food) because (it is good for your body)" – making it difficult for them to say ‘No!’
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Point out that rules are mandatory and need to be followed. You could say something to the effect of – "I love you, and this rule needs to be followed".
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Give your child two equally desirable options to create the illusion of control. For example: "Would you like to eat peas or carrots?"
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Observe your behaviour – check if you say ‘No’ often. Clarify the difference between ‘non-negotiable’ and ‘negotiable’ rules to your child. Set clear expectations and reinforce them consistently.
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