Things you can say to your child instead of ‘NO!’

July 06, 2022

By Mekhala Joshi

Place more emphasis on what action to do instead of what not to do. Example“Sit on the sofa” is far more effective than “Don’t run around.”

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Give a factual account of the behaviour as it happens. Example:  “I can see you are playing with food. If you have finished dinner, you can leave the table and go wash your hands.”

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Explain the reasons for your hesitance by using words that children can understand. Example: “The vase is delicate. It will break if it drops on the floor. Please play far away from it.”

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Give the child two equally attractive choices instead of directly saying no to one of them. Example:  “Would you like to play with blocks or have fun with colours?”

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Remind the child of the negative outcomes that will follow if they break house rules. Example:  “As per our house rules, you know what will happen if you do this. I hope you make a wiser/better choice.”

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Rather than saying 'No', parents can prompt their children to make that decision on their own, by asking them questions that explain the risks of their actions. Example:  “If you eat too much ice cream, you will get a cold. Do you want to be sick?”

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When told repeatedly, the word 'No!' may see its relevance and desired effect diminished. To avoid its overuse, parents can just use other phrases like 'Wait', 'Hang on', 'Not Yet' or 'Stop'.

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Make time for Yes Day! Reserving a day every week or month for saying ‘Yes!’ to all activities your child wants to do, but with a few rules, will help them value being told ‘No!’ even more!

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