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The Benefits Of Showing Up For Your Child

Team StoryWeavers|February 22, 2021| 1

showing up for children

Knowing that your parents are there for you no matter what is a good feeling. It helps children feel more confident and secure while interacting with the world around them. Most parents understand that and take measures to ensure that their children feel loved and supported by them. While most of them know how to go about it intuitively, others may need a little extra support to do this effectively. 

In this article, we will cover:

Different Ways Of Showing Up For Your Child 

The key to showing up for your children is to care for them predictably, as opposed to perfectly. You need not be perfect for your child to understand that you are there for them. A book, The Power of Showing Up, How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired, written by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, lists Four S’s that will help parents or other caregivers to predictably care for children. 

  • Safe – Ensure that children feel protected from harm and feel sheltered in your presence. 
  • Seen –  Ensure that children understand that you love them and do pay attention to what they are saying, doing, and feeling. Help children understand that you truly see them. 
  • Soothed – Ensure that they can come to you when they are hurting. 
  • Secure – Ensure that they can trust you to help them feel at home no matter what is happening in the outside world. 

How Does Showing Up Impact The Child’s Brain

Four S’s of showing up help parents to be there for their children. There will be times when parents slip up, but not to worry, the book, The Power of Showing Up…, mentions that caring predictably involves making amends whenever needed to help children form a secure attachment. It is due to a concept called neuroplasticity, i.e. in layman’s terms, how the brain changes to new experiences and information. The brain also creates new neural pathways based on what we emphasise in our interactions with the world.  Caring predictably by means of showing up for children creates mental models and expectations about the world around them. Showing up for children physically alters their brain. When you are present for them consistently, it helps them understand that they can meaningfully interact with the world around them even when they are in pain. It creates strength and resilience. 

Overall, showing up for your child is critical for their development and helps them form secure attachments. These four S’s can be applied to any relationship because it makes them thrive, makes our brain healthier, and in turn, it makes everything more beautiful. 

How do you show up for your child? What do you do when you slip up? Do you have any tips for other parents? Share your insights with us in the comments below or drop a mail at [email protected]

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About the Author


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Mekhala Joshi

“Me-kha-la!” That happens at least once when she introduces herself to new people. She’s the only ‘Mekhala’ she knows, and she takes a bit of pride in that. She is a quintessential introvert. Mekhala loves tea but cannot make a good cup of tea and often ends up having coffee. She claims that she takes all adjectives as complements unless specified otherwise. Mekhala is an organizational psychologist and psychometrician. She was a class teacher of 36 adorable girls for two years, grade 2 & 3, as a part of Teach For India Fellowship. And has worked as an independent consultant for a couple of years.

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Himanshu Soni

February 25, 2021

Very impressive content Mekhala Joshi . As a parent everybody having so many dream for their child. it is important as Professional we have to help them and teach them how technology is getting change now today . Thank you so much Mekhala .


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