“It’s good to raise a child by a book, but every child needs a different book!”
Parenting is about raising children in a manner that you can give healthy, sound adults to the society. A herculean task and no one rulebook to guide you through it. The challenges of parenting are innumerable and can sway you with myriad emotions at the same time. Guilt, love, anger, helplessness, joy, anxiety and stress become your daily companions. The attempt at being a wonderful parent is constantly tested when you face power struggles with your children. How then do you deal with these hurdles?
Here are five books for you that range from knowing your children’s unique love languages, how to communicate with them, address the concerns of sibling rivalry, the benefits of vulnerability and why parenting should be playful.
#1. 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
Children are unique and how they choose to show their affection and express themselves is also different. Interpreting how they connect with you can help improve your communication with them. Gary Chapman, a renowned author, speaker and counsellor, and Ross Campbell, a clinical psychiatrist with a specialisation in parent-child relationships, share the five love languages which children use for communication. Discovering your children’s unique love languages can help you develop a strong relationship with them and communicate effectively.
#2. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, communication experts, parent educators and American authors, bring this delightful read for all the parents who are in the midst of power struggles. This book brings to you scripts and examples from real-life to help you assess the situation and diffuse your children’s anger. An easy to understand guide that helps you tap the sweet side of your children, resolve conflicts and get your children to cooperate with you.
#3. Playful Parenting, by Lawrence J. Cohen
A wonderful and fun approach to parenting, Cohen, a clinical psychologist specialising in parenting, children’s play, and play therapy, reveals how a child’s first language is play. As a parent tapping into this factor to discipline and raise your children helps you reach out to your child through silly, yet effective ways. Tricky behaviours can be transformed to make parenting an enjoyable experience. The book has strategies that help you engage, set limits and smooth away the tension with your children in a playful manner. Certainly a win-win for everyone involved.
#4. Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Another gem by the duo Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, they lay out the tricks and tools to deal with the issues and conflicts that are bound to arise between your children. As a parent, preventing mini wars and battles within the four walls of your house is not merely a challenge but an exhausting place to be. This book shares nuggets of wisdom that not only allows you to foster healthy relationships between your children but also maintain your hold on your sanity. A powerful and practical guide to ease your parenting and improve family dynamics.
#5. ‘Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead’, by Brené Brown
Brene Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, and New York Times bestselling author, has written this book based on her research about vulnerability. We often teach and have been taught to refrain from feeling, expressing or admitting to the feelings of vulnerability. This remarkable book brings to light that by avoiding vulnerability, we tend to distance ourselves from the experiences that guide us to our purpose and meaning of life. The author gently reminds the parents and captures the essence of parenting in the following words – “Raising children who are hopeful and who have the courage to be vulnerable means stepping back and letting them experience disappointment, deal with conflict, learn how to assert themselves, and have the opportunity to fail.”
We hope you enjoy and learn from the wisdom of the written word while you take on another day as a brave parent! Do let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.
Mariam Taqui Ali (pro tip: the middle name is pronounced tuh-key) A Word slayer, pluviophile, baker, traveller; among other things, knows the correct usage of punctuation and the difference between your and you're. She spent some time (read a lot of time) writing, editing and keeping track of word counts. Her trysts with writing and editing has led her to interact with experts from diverse industries like healthcare, wellness, HR, business and technology. Having experienced all that, she continues her professional explorations, to learn, to grow and to be a value add. Drop in a line at [email protected] if you liked her stories, have something nice to say, or if you have compelling ideas to share!
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