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What is peaceful parenting?

Team StoryWeavers|June 23, 2021, 11:44 IST|

peaceful parenting

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”

At one time or another, almost every parent may have felt bad or guilty about how they have reacted to their child’s behaviour. Many of them would have wished to have used a more peaceful approach. Being a peaceful parent is all about becoming less reactive internally. It allows you to be a better role model for your child and teach them how to regulate their thoughts and actions. 

Well, today, in this article, we will talk about:

Characteristics of a peaceful parent

Parenting comes with many challenges, and it is unfair to expect any parent to be peaceful all the time. Dr Laura Markham’s book, Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings, mentions three things every parent can do to invite more peace in their hearts and in their families. 

  • A peaceful parent regulates their own emotions. 
  • A peaceful parent prioritises staying warmly connected to their children. 
  • A peaceful parent coaches their children instead of controlling them. 

5 Tips to be a peaceful parent 

Another book by Dr Laura Markham, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting, mentions a few things that parents can do to become the peaceful parent you want to be for your children: 

  • Notice when the child is pushing your buttons. Children will act out at times, they are just being children. Children need to be greeted with a calm and warm attitude that makes them want to behave. So, whenever you notice that your child is pushing your buttons, try to understand the reasons behind why it bothers you and the emotions it evokes. Take appropriate actions to heal yourself so that you can respond more peacefully. 
  • When you find yourself getting worked up, take a pause. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that responding peacefully is a choice. Strong emotions such as frustration may cause you to act in a way you wouldn’t otherwise. Wait till you calm down to take an action or make a decision. 
  • If you have had a difficult childhood, remember that it was not your fault. And that you were just a child reaching out for love in a way you knew how. That you are enough. Rewrite your childhood story by considering new angles to situations from an adult’s point of view. It will help you be the peaceful parent you want to be for your children. 
  • Find a way to de-stress. Exercise, take a hot bath, or meditate. See what works for you and go for it. Involve the whole family if you do not have adequate alone time. Slow down and get enough sleep. It will help you relax and invite more peace in your heart. 
  • Ask for support if and when you need it. Every parent needs it sometime. Share your concerns with your spouse, neighbours, friends. It will make you feel supported. 

Parenting is one of the toughest responsibilities one can have. Parents need to work on themselves to become the parents their children need them to be. Your child’s behaviour will push your buttons sometimes. At that point, you need to be the grown-up and not lose your calm. These peaceful parenting tips will enable you to do just that. Like all other parenting techniques, it may take months or even years to see the change, so be patient and stay consistent. 

Did you like reading this article? Do you have any other concerns that you would like us to address? Do let us know in the comments below. 

Reference:

  • Markham, L. (2015). Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life. United States: Penguin Publishing Group.
  • Markham, L. (2012). Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. United States: Penguin Publishing Group.

About the Author


“Me-kha-la!” That happens at least once when she introduces herself to new people. She’s the only ‘Mekhala’ she knows, and she takes a bit of pride in that. She is a quintessential introvert. Mekhala loves tea but cannot make a good cup of tea and often ends up having coffee. She claims that she takes all adjectives as compliments unless specified otherwise. Mekhala is an organizational psychologist and psychometrician. She was a class teacher of 36 adorable girls for two years, grade 2 & 3, as a part of Teach For India Fellowship. And has worked as an independent consultant for a couple of years.

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